152. Fix Your Communication: Why It’s About Connection Over Perfection

“Anything is fixable,” say Frances Frei and Anne Morriss. As cohosts of the Fixable podcast, they’re typically the ones doing the fixing, but on this special episode, they turn to Matt Abrahams for tips on what to do when communication breaks down.

Both Frei and her wife Morriss are public speakers; the former, a professor at Harvard Business School, the latter, a CEO and best-selling author. As they discuss with Matt Abrahams, perfectionism and self-doubt can often creep in, both during preparation before speaking and after the fact. According to Matt, effective communication is about “connection, not perfection.” Instead of putting pressure on ourselves to “get it right,” Matt encourages us to shift our focus from ourselves to those we’re speaking to. “Whenever you're communicating, you're in service of the audience you're communicating to,” he says. “It's not about you, it's about them and what you can do for them.”

In this podcast episode, Frei, Morriss, and Matt explore frameworks and strategies for speaking more spontaneously, building confidence, managing anxiety, and course-correcting when communication goes awry.

Episode Reference Links:

• Fixable Podcast: Website 
• Anne Morriss & Frances Frei: Website 
• Anne Morriss: LinkedIn 
• Frances Frei: HBS Profile

Connect:

• Email Questions & Feedback >>> thinkfast@stanford.edu
• Episode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart Website
• Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.io
• Think Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn Page,  Instagram, YouTube
• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn
• Stanford GSB >>> LinkedIn & Twitter

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction

Matt Abrahams introduces the episode, a collaboration with the Fixable podcast hosted by Frances Frei and Anne Morriss.

(00:04:58) Mission of Spontaneous Speaking 

Matt discusses his focus on helping people communicate more effectively in unplanned situations.

(00:07:10) Audience Centered Communication 

The importance of focusing on the audience to reduce anxiety and improve communication.

(00:09:51) Connection Over Perfection 

Prioritizing connection over perfection in communication.

(00:11:00) Benefits of Effective Communication 

The benefits of improving spontaneous speaking skills.

(00:12:17) Building a Communication Infrastructure 

An outline of helping organizations create supportive communication environments.

(00:13:33) Six Steps to Better Communication 

A six-step process to improve spontaneous communication, covering mindset and messaging.

(00:16:55) Managing Communication Anxiety 

Strategies for managing anxiety in high-stakes communication situations.

(00:21:00) Handling Blanking Out 

How to handle and recover from blanking out during a speech or presentation.

(00:25:21) Real-Life Experience 

A recent experience of underestimating time during a keynote and how the situation was managed.

(00:27:44) The Value of Preparation 

The importance of preparation in both spontaneous and planned communication.

(00:28:43) AMP and Building Confidence

Three immediate strategies for reducing anxiety right before speaking.

(00:31:53) Conclusion

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